I've heard it for the last time: "I don't want any drama."
First off, a$$holes abound. As Alkaline Trio put it, "If a$$holes could fly / This place would be busier than O'Hare."
Now, some people never really have to deal with them. Those people are usually pretty boring.
Most people either attract them, or are attracted to them.
The trick is to learn how recognize and deal with them. A$$holes, liars, cheats, jerks, cheapskates, losers, bums, and even crack-heads can be fun to be around, as long as you split as soon as the party's over. The ones you keep around are the ones that are still cool in the morning.
No one's perfect, everyone's got a little a$$hole in them; I'm sure you've had your bad days, too. But when you're with a guy for more than a month or two, it should be apparent as to whether your neuroses match.
This is the best way I've ever been able to describe a good, long-lasting relationship. Everybody's at least a little neurotic, or else they're no fun. But, if my neuroses match her neuroses, I know it's going to be fun, and our drama's going to be... enjoyable.
And here's where I get to the bit about why I don't get why I keep hearing "I don't want any drama."
I say BS.
Everyone wants a dramatic relationship. Drama equals passion. No drama would be a boring 1940's marriage where you sleep in separate beds.
I'm guessing what's meant is "I don't want a guy who jerks me around." Well, no duh. But, well... jerks have patterns. They can't hide their inner jerk for long.
Rule of thumb: Jerk me once, shame on you. Jerk me twice, shame on me.
Drop his a$$. If you don't, and start complaining that "all guys are a$$holes" instead, well... I am Jack's utter lack of sympathy.
So, play the game, get burnt. Heal, play the game better next time.
I don't mean to sound callous or dismissive, but I am... so it just kind of comes out that way. ;)
Seriously, though, if it takes a week or a month or a year to heal, that's great. Take as long as you need. My last time? Took a year.
But don't ever forget that it's a game -- a great one -- and one that you want to play. Don't give up unless you're ready to accept that you'll grow old all alone and instead of love, you'll have cats.
I like cats.
But I'd rather a more... er... *stimulating* companion to spend the next 60 years with.